Yew….! You again, SAM!

Aiyo…..I am not a good blogger bcz I din update my blog very often…..

Anyway, today I think I have quite a lot to say, haha….talkative ma….

Three days ago, my friend who I owes thought is my good friend said that I am too talkative, talk too much crap, hurt people feeling without knowing and too kay po…..until a lot of people dislike me, hostel people, classmate…….The thing that hurt me the most was that she thought that if she doesn’t talk to me, she feel very peace……Arghh……

Maybe my characters are truly like that bcz in secondary school, my used-to-be friend told me the same thing and I admitted that it’s really my fault for not thinking for the other people, so I had changed, I had improved myself…Yet, I still receive that kind of feedback..

Maybe it’s the good point of my friend to point out my weaknesses but I duno y I do not feel that….I owes think that, between two good friends, they can actually open up their heart. Of course evryone has weaknesses but good friends can bear with them. They will point them out without hurting anybody’s feeling bcz they know each other so well that they know what kind of techniques to use when they confront to each other. She hurt me, I think she really doesn’t know my character…I feel very happy when I am talking..If I don’t talk much, it means that I am unhappy or sleepy…or, I don’t like to talk to the person…

After she had told me these, I felt sad and depress…I kept recalling what kind of behaviour my friend had when they were with me…N what frightened me was I kept imagine all my friends were just pretending to be friendly in front of me….I began to dislike them bcz I thought since you do not like me, y shld I like you…. N I realized those were wrong immediately, so I afraid I will eventually become a bad person. So I asked some of my friends, whom I trusted the most among the people I know, whether I was irritating and had those weaknesses my other friend had pointed out. Well, the feedbacks are not bad, at least I would not feel very sad then…..N one thing that surprised me was, she told me she was not sure whether my classmates, or rather schoolmates dislike me as well, I checked this out with my classmates, the fact turned out to be the other way…I am not very dislikable…

Ah….I owes heard people say, be yourself, dun care other people’s comments. You are living not bcz of them. If you feel happy, contented with yourself now, think that you did not do anything wrong, just dun bother about it. You can’t expect the whole world to like you, of course there are people who do not like you….

But…why the friend that I close to doesn’t understand me? I know we have a lot of differences in our personalities and we did not open up our heart when we are chatting. Most of the time we dun agree with each other’s opinion. Hence, I did not talk much to her also (and yet she thinks I am very noisy, fine..). Sigh….

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 2nd, 2005 at 10:43 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.