Yew….! You again, SAM!

The first ever dance that I have gone to. Quite a wonderful night! Got a lot of ‘first time’…

The first time I wear pink skirts…

The first time I put on make up ( I put on myself u noe and not bad le, my friends told I looked pretty hahaha…)

The first time dancing in both fast and slow dance.

The first time I was given treat on ICE CREAM!!!! Feel bad coz quite ex in sg but since he doesnt mind….heehee…

The first time I danced with four guys..

The first time I met someone special for that night….:-)

To people who care for me, juz want to say that I am not a wicked gal who nvr tot of other people’s feelings… Even if I did, I did it unconciously, that I can’t help cz I am a bit blur de.. N.., I am a serious person, whatever decision I take I’ll treat it seriously. Anw, glad that you have shown your concern, Thank you very much!

Today my ac primers offiver become the 12th coy barker road company’s captain!!! I liked his speech, aiya I like him la, he is the best officer that I have known!!!!

The reverend said he would prefer that everyone and each of the boys will have the confident to say that they are able to become leaders. I thought of my secondary school self…… I was lack of confidence, I kept thinking that my schoolmates did not welcome me, I am ugly, I am a very irritating gal etc. I cared for people’s opinion on me a lot until my friend asked me to be confident. Haha…at that time I really could not, maybe I was scared…

Then I thought of myself now. I think I am a confident person, if I want to do or say something I will have the courage to do so. That’s why sometimes I feel I am crazy, haha… Maybe I could be like that in secondary sch but for some reasons I could not, I shall not say here because it is a vr sensitive issue. I could have enjoyed my secondary sch life as much as here but…it’s over anw…

Feel good to be confident.

And I think I really can let go of "it" now. My priority is still studying.

Ahhhhh………….

So many things happen….

Got a feeling that I am the most stupid person in the world……

Sorry for I can’t express fully my troubles, those who know me well will know what m I referring to….

Though I know blog is somewhere that you can tell your feeling to…but this time…I cant do it…

Thanks for my friend who said something very inspiring to me, how come you can always say something inspiring? Izit because you are older than me? Haha…. Thanks for letting me know that at least I am not facing the super crazy problem alone. Really appreciate that you are my friend.

Things to me now are very hard to handle now, I hav lost my confidence. I always like to be confident because my friend adviced me to be confident as confident girl is the prettiest, haha… no lah, she did said that but its not because of that I want to be confident. Its because I think confident people are cool but I think I become thick-skinned already. But I am going back, back to my low self-esteem self, haha, but still, I am pretending to be confident….

Now I am questioning myself, am I as good as I always think myself as??

Quite a sad period for me ya….

I have decided to let go of certain things, I need time to do so…Maybe at first I will start avoiding something but please bear with me, I will be ok later…

Cheerful I always am isn’t it? Soon I’ll be cheerful again, this is my trademark, haha…..strong gal…..

Lastly thanks for the other friends who really care for me a lot, this warms me a lot a lot….

U know what, last Saturday I hurt myself while I was ironing my clothes, the wound quite serious but it jz looks serious. I even had this thought that if any guy sees my wound and feel bad about it, he’s my future husband, haha, luckily before I announce here no guy behaved that way though there were quite a lot of my male friends saw it….I don’t want to be married so soon…:-)

Crazy and stupid gal I am. I believe there is no one here in this world is as crazy and as stupid as me!!!!! I am so unique, haha…Please bear with me since I am abnormal, friends…

Hmm…last week I was busy like h***, I think I’ll continue be in this way next week.

I got a lot of tutorials and homework havent done, thanks to my 2 ccas…esp SMC, reali killing me though it’s act fun…

I am nominated as Vice Pres cum Secretary of AC Primers but my officer hasnt approved it, he said muz tell him y the others decided to let me as VP cum Sec. I think he wants to know that we reali know what we are doing and be sure with the decisions made. O maybe its just a usual procedure of deciding the committee board.

Wanna run for the SMC oso but not as ambitious as in Primers I guess…But reali dunno what position do I want to do.. And it’s quite scary bcz I juz join, seniors sure duno me so they wun believe me I guess….

Lets come back to my personnel life… Crush is owes crush, most of the time the guy that u like doesnt like u at all, that’s what my friend said to me. So how shall I move on?? Shall I forget about him? How? Keeping myself busy??? Ahh…duno… Sometimes I feel that I am quite desperate haha…but not very over la. I juz want to have bf, wanna experience it… Mayb a bit kiasu oso, most of my frien got bf o gf le, so I feel like I am lagging behind. But I duno how to find chance de and nobody act confess to me…ahh…I think I am not cute enuf ba…that’s y no guys interested in me…hmm…

Act this time right, I knew that he wun like me de cz he is vr vr vr busy and I think my character is not his cup of tea..furthermore, he needs to study and I oso need to study. the worst thing is he knew I admire him…ahh…..sigh…. So now I duno how to move on. Shall forget about this and go back to my boring life?

I think I am vr different from my secondary sch self. My secondary sch self was the kind if I like a person, even if he knew it, I would act like normal..but this time, I am actually scared to face him…Since when I bcom so shy??? I tot I m owes brave?? Haha…

I am curious….does anybody know me so well that he or she noe exactly what I feel and think and my response to some things?? People keep mis-interpret what I am thinking about….

Act I am afraid that he thinks I do some things purposely jz to get near to him…bcz I think I am not the one who will purposely do this kind of thing, I think it’s a bit extra…Mayb I think too much, mayb he din think tt way o mayb he couldnt be bothered, haha….Fan nao shi zi zhao de, esp 4 me who tend to think too much…..

Dun want to care anymore la….if nobody confess to me b4 25, I think I go and be a nun ba….haha…

Ahah…These weekends suck….

On Friday, supposed to go to church for bible study but feel tired so I went for the barker company devotion…

On Saturday, Went out in the morning to acsi to ask my vietnamese classmate to teach me further math. He played com game in the morning, left his gf, me and my classmate at the dining hall.. We were vr hardworking yet he was playing without any worries…Then, after he came down, I asked him two questions and both he couldn’t answer, wasting my time…Then I saw someone who can help me, who I thought should be smarter than the stupid Andy, yet he told me he had no mood….Ahh….So stupid idiot, tot I go there can do my tutorials, sigh…Wasting my time only…

Then, went shopping with my dear Yen Nee. I bought clothes and underwears, quite cheap u noe…We oso ate a lot of delicious food, there was a food fair in taka…Saw my another classmate oso, he’s damn funny, haha…I jz tease him as my dearest then he quickly said NO!! Haha….evr friends is my dear ok?!

After going back, did some research until my eyes vr tired. Tok to rmmates until 1 plus somemore…siao alr..

Today morning went to school.. Supposed to have a meeting but…nobody turned up!!!! The most important guy din turn up cz got fever, so I forgived him..but how about the others???

Went for kayaking as well. Was late by 1 hr, haha…I have learnt the parts of the kayak, the paddle, the personal floatation device, capsize drill, forward, backward, sweep, J draw, classic draw, rescue, stern ruddle and low support recovery. Quite fun, learnt a lot!

Hmm….tot I can write a blog on Friday the day I finished my term exam…..

Well, i went for science and math council’s meeting. I was shaking by the time I went in cz I din reali know the people there, I was vr new to them…..But when time went by, I felt better. It’s vr different from my other cca, boys brigade primers. Although I oso need to organize events in bb, we do it jz one at a tm, not much at all and quite slack. But for smc, they organize a few events at one tm, now u noe how busy will the cca members be? At least busier than bb members. At first quite blur, gotta noe how they organize thing, wat’s their style, then finally I was ok. N….there are more members than bb..hehe.. The members there are quite capable, seem vr experience in organizing things, tt’s gd. I like this kind of cca but I can guess wat my pa will say, he will say I will become vr active in ccas and forget tt my priority shld b studies…I believe I can cope, if I reali cant then I’ll make suitable arrangement…I still remember tt my studies is the most important but to be active is oso one of the advantages tt can help me in d future.

The chem paper was….Sigh, couldnt finish, wat to do? Called my dearest brother last nite, wanna him to teach me. Sigh..who ask him to hav me as his sister? He gotta teach me, I dun care. Brother u oso vr happy to teach me rite? U better say yes or else u’ll…..I shall not say clearly, haha.. Aiya gogo vr gd one de, adores me a lot, haha….I feel tt Im vr lucky….

Wanna translate my malay blog to my good frien de….

K, now the main topic. I went to kbox with my classmates as a relaxation after term exam. Quite fun, I sang a lot…haha…seems vr bad I noe…Hmm…and it’s good that I can chat with my good friens and know them well, friendship forever ya!!!! My gd frien said I m like superwoman, wat d’u think my other friens? If u hav any comments feel free to send to me ya!!

Went out yesterday oso, went to sch to discuss sth with my ccamates, bb one den went to clarke….din do anything at all….wanna relax….