Yew….! You again, SAM!

Sometimes is being one of the tops nice? I understand that a lot of times, whenever you get something, you’ll lose some other things, esp when you get reali gd things, you’ll need to pay a big price. Lyk vr few guys will think of getting a smart gal to be their partners. haha.. Im hopeless, owes think of this kind of things..

You noe, kind of dun like the fact tt I actually make ppl ard me feel stress… A frien of mine who went back to M’sia tot so n my classmates said so, bt seriously Im thankful 4 my classmates, esp jess 4 still being with me. So sorry, you still need to bear with it until next year… I was puzzling ytd cz a guy whom I admire in terms of his results, his achievements suddenly became humble n said sth lyk, Im nt capable unlike someone….. ah…. m I reali too smart? Bt to me I m reali nothing compared to him……

Jz nw read my frien’s blog, I realised I din read her blog for duno hw long… bcz of e stupid promos lor! Hmm, it gave me some tots… there is some times I like to be blur, some times be careful, some times be smart….. I thinks we’ll play a certain role in a certain place at a certain time. Sometimes it is deliberately done, sometimes it is out of ur heart. Bt I lyk to be blur, cz I can laugh at myself 4 tt n tt makes me look cute, haha…..

Of cz studies is nt evrthing. who said so? I owes complain to my bro, c la, cm to sg n study, study until want to die, study so hard 4 wat? only make myself vr miserable… den he’ll say indifferently, it’s your choice wat. I owes duno hw to rebuke, so I keep on complaining..hehe M I ambitious? I duno, mayb.. bt I jz dun lyk to lose a gd opportunity to get gd things-e education system here is gd. Actually, in the first place, I jz want to escape fr my sec sch, so I die die oso wan to cm 2 sg… den after tt I tot of my future, study here helps me a lot. most importantly I have many gd experiences! I still study hard, cz I dun wan to regret later. I know my own ability n I hope I can owes get improvements, I think tt r wat make me 2day. I want to hold the time as tight as I can.

Last fri went out with my exschmate. Finally gt chance to go out with him, so long nvr comtact each other, he is my gd frien le.. Den, we tok abt confidence. One yr ago, I was so lack of confidence tt I owes think I was nt gd, fat, ugly, bad-tempered bla bla bla. Wanted to bcm pretty so much tt kept asking ppl hw do I look. Nw, yes I was wrong. Even you are reali damn ugly bt by the comfidence tt you give urself, u’ll definitely outshine the others. Yes, I agree tt sometimes ppl’s assurance can enhance your confidence, bt b4 u demand love (nt relationship 1) fr ppl, u nid to love urself first. only when u believe in urself, ppl will believe in u. Is look vr important? Yes, to a certain extent. Is height vr important? Yes, oso to a certain extent. Is achievement vr important? Yes, depends on your perception. Bt one thing u mz have, your own identity. Even though you r nt good-looking, bt your values, beliefs n behaviour will definitely be your assets of being attractive.

M I growing up too fast? I duno… hw I wish I dun hav to think of so many stuff, only get myself white hairs…haha…

Erm… actually got lots to share today but I am in a great rush!!!!

Today watch a show, it’s about the people made of wood in a town got their noses painted green, pink, blue…colour. There is a character, Eli who can represent God, for he has created the wooden people. HE made them different but they want to look alike. People just want to look alike with other people so that they dun feel they r obstracised but Eli doesn’t want them to be like that. He hopes that they’ll be happy with their looks. SO there is another character who is a small little boy, his name too long so I dun want to spell it here. at first he notices the excitements among the people cz the person who paint their noses with green is coming. Actually the person din paint his own nose with colour but uses a fake nose to cheat people. That’s y when he wants to change colour, it’s vr easy for him but for the others, their noses r covered by the paints again n again. SO the boy wants to take a look but he was upset when people criticise him for not looking the same as them, hence he gets his nose painted, forgetting that he promised to Eli he wont do so..

See how powerful a person is. HE can start a fashion by merely saying that oh, this colour is very in for this year, den evrone will follow the ‘fashion’ blindly. He can say something vr hurting to someone until the person cannot hold his stand firm, ending up following the crowd even though at first he knew it is wrong.

R u one of them? think abt it… I was and I think I am also. Human just cant afford to be alone. it takes a lot of courage to stand in a crowd, shouting to them u r wrong!!! u’ll get hurt and even die bcz of that like Galileo. In the past I tot I should get a partner bcz most of my friends got and if u dun, u seem cant be with them cz u dun hav similar topic to talk abt. When u write essays abt smoking u owes tok abt bcz people want to have a sense of belongin to his group of friends, so they smoke.

At the end, the small little boy regrets of his decision and turns back to Eli. He gets his nose back and he’s able to smell nice smells again ( he couldn’t smell things with his nose coated by lots of paint)

So, when u realise u r like that, it’s not too late to repent. God will still forgive u like what Eli does to the small boy and he’ll b happy cz u’ve learnt

Hmm… I think I am goin to have bad luck for the rest of my life…

Die la die la.. I din do wat e chained mails on bulletin board ask me to do…

One of them says that I am goin to die in 3 days, wah I feel vr happy about it le, hahaha…. I shall believe this when I die in 3 days but no regret, heehee

Another one says I am goin to hav bad luck in my love life, I need it man haha… so that I can become ‘lao gu po’

Omg, what r these? now I realise our fate is actually determined by this chained thing… what a joke… as a rebellious one, I decided not to post…

Today had a ‘discussion’ with my friends.. made me ponder over men-women issue for a long while..

Men and women can never be equal. I agree with it u know as there are a lot of natural facts that support this. For example, the NAPFA standard, guys’ is owes more difficult than girls’. But this is only true when you look it in general way. There are girls who can do things that guys do. There are girls can run faster and are stronger than guys.

Why people want to fight for their own rights? Why there is feminism? Because of some people owes think that they should be the superior ones and try their best to secure their positions by not letting the others opportunities. For example, there was a time in history when the families do not allow girls to be educated though it is important. I think it is quite silly.. to me only those who give the others same opportunities, same resources, same equipment or whatever but still can be outstanding is the coolest.

I would think this is because of pride. eg If one day, you are working under a person who is younger than you (in dis case, it is not in society in which dis happens all the time but in school where normally those who is older get to lead), wat would you feel. Some proud people against it but some do not mind. Personally I would admire those who do not mind because at least they recognise that their abilities are not as good as the leader. It’s different case if the person is chosen to be leader when there is favoroutism. But what I believe is the person is chosen because he is the one who the one who choose think that he has the ability to fulfill what they hope he will achieve in the future.

I know some people think that to be a leader is something for you to show off, I felt that way a few years ago. Then I realise, it seems not very important at all, just that you dun hav this as something that people admire about you. In fact, I also have this thought that nothing is important. I think it is quite bad because my life is not goin to be as interesting as what I hope to be. Joyful is the fruit of hardwork, if there is nothing that I think is important, I’ll not have a clear direction and I can’t enjoy the satisfaction at the end of your hardwork. But.. still I think nothing in this world is important. There are things that are important because you have desires, lusts and you need to survive in this world… We can’t have much choice… Sigh….

Vr tired now, guess I’ll hav a lot of white hair bcz I owes think too much…

Finally! Promos’ over!!!!

Seriously, since dunno when I dun hav anything to say on this blog..

My another blog oso was abundoned for dunno hw long alr…

I seem to think that this is not a gd way to express wat do i  feel….dunno, jz feel tt y shld i talk abt things tt r confidential for ur close friens here. Bt if nt, den izit u jz report wat u hav done these days?? Wat for???

Ppl jz want to fulfil their different needs, i guess… Tt’s y though havin a blog is sort of a trend bt there r ppl nvr hav 1..

Well, b4 promos there were a lot of things happened, ppl might hav new idea of who reali am i and i, myself, oso realise tt i am nt a gd gal as wat i think i was. Bt im tryin to b wat i think is a perfect person…bt again, ppl can nvr b perfect.. so… as long as Im holdin my own principles and values, even if I do wrong, I’ll realise my mistakes and ake some changes..

Lookin back, the things tt hav been passed this year r still vr shockin to me.. who knows I’ll get into all those things? Evrthin hav changed, I hav grown up, being immune to wat ppl has felt of me unlike my old self; parents hav became cute in the sense tt my pa seems to allow my bro n i havin partner.. haha, I think he shld worri 4 my bro la… I think I shall not get married b4 my bro does, wuahahaha… n I still need to search myself more b4 I start a relationship, hmm… mayb nobody lyks me oso on the time being, so i dunnid to worri much haha…..

Mayb bcz of my past experiences, though I hav bcom a more confident gal, there’s still time when I lose my confidence.. den i will try hard to prove myself tt Im nt as bad as wat i think. Bt e more i try, e more i lose my confidence. n i owes lose confidence when i think tt nobody likes me (nt BGR bt among friends) I realise tt u act dunnid to prove anythin, wat for? u r juz wastin ur tm. When u believe in urself, enuf alr… believe in God, if u r a religious one. For a christian, no one’s jugdements can b compared and superior to God’s jugdements on u. So y care 4 other’s opinions on u??

There muz b a reason y u r livin in this earth, y u make clever and stupid decisions, y u do this, y u do tt… understd e reason, u’ll feel a lot better. Dun feel bad jz bcz u think u r stupid, ugly, being inferior o watever.. They r nt important as wat u think.. Think of wat strengths u hav tt u think make u different fr e others, be thankful for havin tt particular strengths den u’ll feel better.. there r ppl hu dun understd u, dun wori, one day they will understd u, giv them time..

And 1 more thing, know hw to appreciate ppl’s beauty and strengths without feelin jealous is sth tt vr hard to achieve, tt’s y ppl criticize. wat is ironic here is ppl hu criticize dun want to be criticized… n ppl hu owes said treat the others lyk wat u wish them to treat u as, they selfishly treat the others without puttin themselves into the others’ shoes; eg, if they themselves think they dun mind ppl do irresponsible things, they unconsiously giv themselves an excuse to be irresponsible..

All these i would think I am talkin to my own self bt nvrtheless I wan to share with u o…