Yew….! You again, SAM!

Well, I din post for a long time, as usual, haha…

Yes, there were a lot of things happenning. Firstly, getting back prelims results. Then Bei Shi’s bdae!!! Next, I went for a gp related talk and at the night I went for Honours Night. The next day Michele’s bdae!!! Oh yeah, in between, we (as in Jess, Jiun Siang, Jeff n I) bought Ho Yuen bdae…

Hmm… getting back prelims results is not worth for me to describe much. It was just the usual anxious feeling before getting it then the feeling of relieve after receiving it.

Let me describe Bs’s bdae, haha… Hmm.. As my dear dear roommate, we (Geri, Jo n I) thought for a very very long long long…… long time to think of a special way of celebrating her bdae, so that she will remember us always.. haha.. After discussions, we decided to cook something for her! Since she liked pasta, I said I would cook spaghetti for her, haha… My first time cooking it le… haha… As I went back to Jb that weekend, I made the sauce at home n made the noodles in hostel’s pantry. And Jo and Geri did their parts too!!! They bought a roasted chicken, Longan, Cocktail and Campbell soup!!! So we prepared the food and made the table, then we had our delicious bdae feast in the pantry!!! (At least we found it more delicious then hostel food..haha..) We bought her a book, haha.. so funny.. As to make her bdae more memorable, we had an idea to buy something that she liked but it must not be too normal, it must be different.. haha… Since she liked to read, so the item was book. Then we decided to buy a book with a topic that she seldom read, haha… so fun.. but then, she hasn’t even read one single word in the book, so… dunno whether she likes it or not, haha.. And our dear juniors celebrated her bdae too, again their liveliness had made the celebration not too boring, good job! haha……..

That gp talk was titled gender politics and media. I decided to talk about this because it had given me quite a deep impression. First of all, the speaker was my Chinese teacher! Haha… it was so funny to see him there, I was thinking that he would use Mandarin to give that talk. Well, apparantly he was bilingual and the talk was very good.. haha… The thing that has given me a deep impression is the theory that gender is preformative. This theory says that based on different situations, one may exhibit feminine traits or masculine traits. He said that gender was imposed by social experience. He went further on saying that we were like performers, perform whatever traits that people want to see in us.

So.. I have some thoughts. What people learn in Bio is that hormones give human feminine or masculine traits. Females are feminine because they have more estrogen than testosteron hormone while males are masculine because they have more testosteron than estrogen. Note that it is one of the hormones is more than the other, meaning we already have both feminine and masculine traits once we are born. But how much we protray a particular trait is due to the amount of the hormorne and our social experience. And the social experience contributes to the performativity of the gender. If we think a little bit broader, isn’t our life is also performative? Hmm.. that’s why people always say that life is just like a stage show, or we are the main actor in our lifes..?? Then I think when do we become a performer? I believe in secondary education, people start to perform because we start to have relationship problems with schoolmates and teachers. It is something like we should act appropriately in order not to be offensive or whatsoever that would result in being disliked by the others. During the age of wanting to be accepted, being disliked is definitely something that we want to avoid. Yet the funny thing is, we often hear our friends advising us to be like ourselves. How? I ask. Yes, keep on pleasing the others definitely is not an easy job. Sometimes, it is uncomfortable to do so, that’s why people ask us to be ourselves so that we become happy.

But what if we have already used to it? What if we have already forgotten what is being ourselves? Or how to become ourselves? What if we only remember how to perform? What if we are actually performing at every second, in front of our family members, friends, collegues….?

Human is a very interesting creature. It is true that the most difficult knowledge to learn is the knowledge of ourselves. We are not the same in front of everyone. We can be one person in front of our siblings, another person in front of our parents, another person in front of our friends, another person also in front of our teachers! Oh dear, maybe we just do not realise that we are naturally born actors and actress! Maybe our true selves just disappear like that.

Enough. It is too confusing right now for me. So I would just switch topic. Honours’ Night was a great event in ACJC. It is an act of school appreciating the hard work of students and rewarding those with great achievements. We (Bs, Jo n I) were ‘invited’ as guests to that event (very funny, from students, we changed our identities to guests), so we wore formal dress instead of school uniform for it. Well, I quite like this event because this event encourages students to be active in CCAs instead of focusing on academic achievements only. If my secondary school also has it, it will be so nice la.. because we would feel the appreciation from our school and we would feel that what we have done is worthy.

Hmm… I din realise that I have typed so much, I feel tired now… bye bye..